Sunday, May 13, 2012

What is perfect for me

I always love, obsess over the guys I can never have. Mason Plumlee, Justin Bieber, Kyle Korver. I never really knew either, but I understand now. They are all years older than me, which they all have in common for sure. Another thing they have in common is I will never meet any of them, unless a miracle happened. But those are the reasons I love them, because those reasons mean they can’t hurt me.

You on the other hand, hurt me all the time. And I'm not just talking about one person, I mean all of you.

So these guys that I choose to love that I have no chance with are perfect in a way. They may not be actually perfect, but they are perfect for me. So what if Kyle Korver is almost 30 and I'm not quite 14? I am not planning on marrying him or even dating him or whatever. It's just kinda perfect in my head. And I plan to leave it that way.

The chances of me being in a relationship with Mason Plumlee are like one in a million. I know that, I accept that. There is nothing I can do about that. So I can pretend in my head all I want that I know him. Yes, I can play fairytale-ish games like a little girl. However, I'm afraid this level of day dreaming can only satisfy me for a while. Something will go very wrong... I might even go insane, but someday I will find the perfect man for me: tall, handsome, sensitive, into sports, and most important, he won't hurt me. So my imagination games will work for a while, then I will find my prince charming.

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